Attitudinal Beliefs

- there is no chin behind chuck norris' beard. there is only another fist.

- it was once believed that chuck norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by chuck norris himself to lure more pirates to him.

- chuck norris' tears cure cancer. too bad he has never cried.

- chuck norris does not sleep. he waits.

- chuck norris once shot a german plane down with his finger, by yelling, "bang!"

- chuck norris is currently suing NBC, claiming law and order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

- aliens do exist. they're just waiting for chuck norris to die before they attack.

- chuck norris appeared in the "street fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. when asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "that's no glitch."

- filming on location for walker: texas ranger, chuck norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, chuck norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that chuck giveth, and the good chuck, he taketh away.

- chuck norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed amelia earhart while she was flying over the pacific ocean.

- when chuck norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

- chuck norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
we know this beverage as red bull.

- chuck norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. shortly after the transaction was finalized, chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. the devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. they now play poker every second wednesday of the month.

- those aren't credits that roll after walker texas ranger; it is actually a list of people that chuck norris roundhouse kicked in the face that day.

- chuck norris often asks people to pull his finger. when they do, he roundhouses them in the abdomen. then he farts.

- the original theme song to the transformers was actually chuck norrismore than meets the eye, chuck norrisrobot in disguise, and starred chuck norris as a texas ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. this was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

- when chuck norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. chuck norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

That was a good laugh. Did you come up with any of those by yourself?

Unfortunately, no.......but they were too good not to repost....I'm not sure who wrote them.

Chuck Norris rules! And by rules, I mean totally awesome!!!

Does anybody else remember the fight in Enter the Dragon when Bruces takes pretty much the longest time ever to fight Chuck Norris? I do. It was awesome.

chuck norris doesnt fight crime, crime fights chuck norris!

chuck norris doesnt fight crime, crime fights chuck norris!

Einstein's theory of Relativity proves that it is possible for Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick you yesterday.